Do You Want To Be A Longer Lasting Lover?
May Offer The Answer For Men With Premature Ejaculation...
CBT treatments for PE can be very effective - cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) teaches a man how to persist longer in bed by making him aware of his level of arousal and giving him the ability to control the rate at which his arousal increases.
Here you have a potent mix of factors which mean that as a man approaches the point of ejaculatory inevitability he can stop whatever he is doing and slow things down....
Usually, he'll be ready to ejaculate long before he's aware of that fact. Indeed, that's the most common thing men with premature ejaculation tell me is that their ejaculation comes as a surprise to them - it seems to come "from nowhere".
Sexual Response Cycles Of Men With No Ejaculatory Control & Good Ejaculatory Control
Often, the basis of premature ejaculation is high emotional or sexual arousal, for which you can generally read being too anxious, fearful, or stressed by the prospect of sexual intercourse with a woman.
Some of the older techniques such as the squeeze technique are now outdated. Instead, to cure premature ejaculation at home with your partner, you can use a technique known as sensate focus.
You'll have sex two or three times a week, for around 30 minutes each time. Although the initial training sequence will take between 12 and 16 weeks, you may need to refresh it from time to time to ensure that you retain control over your ejaculation.
Sensate focus doesn't require you to engage in painful squeezing of the penis to prevent ejaculation, nor is it something that requires you to abstain from sex for a time.
Sensate focus is actually an easy and pleasant way of prolonging the duration of intimacy, both sexual and emotional.
It's based on a way of touching each other that enhances intimacy and increases your confidence with your partner.
Furthermore, it's a good way to enhance your communication skills. You can use it in the divan bed or on the couch for couples. (It's better to lie on the divan bed for men if lasting longer is the aim.)
Sensate Focus can be done whenever you wish rather than on a rigid routine. As we've already discussed, anxiety around sex is a key factor in causing premature ejaculation, so any treatment which reduces your anxiety is bound to produce an immediate improvement in the duration of your bedtime staying power.
Sensate Focus is no exception, and you should notice an improvement almost immediately after starting the exercises.
After about 12 weeks' of practice, you should be able to last 20 minutes during intercourse, perhaps with the help of short breaks to ensure that you can control how high and long your level of arousal continues to climb.
One thing that you have probably seen mentioned on the Internet is the suggestion you can use your pubococcygeal muscles as a way to control ejaculation: the truth is that you can't avoid ejaculation by squeezing these muscles, although you can use them to reduce your arousal, provided you are a long way from the point of ejaculation.
What it amounts to is that you're actually training your body to respond more slowly to sexual arousal, while at the same time you're learning how to recognize the point of ejaculatory inevitability.
Both these things allow you to control how aroused you are, as well as how quickly you become aroused. This means you can develop complete control over the timing of your ejaculation, perhaps so much so that you will actually be able to enjoy intercourse until your female partner has achieved orgasm.
Now that's a massive difference from a man who ejaculates in under two minutes (sadly, in my experience, this describes the majority of men!)
So sex can last as long as you want it to. And that's a powerful and impressive thought. It's so different to what we have come to expect.
And while you may find it challenging to believe you can last for twenty minutes, and overcome premature ejaculation without difficulty, let me assure you that you can, and what's more you can do it quite easily.
The instructions for cognitive behavioral treatments for premature ejaculation are on this excellent and newly revised website. They are complete and comprehensive, and will show you how to enjoy intercourse in a way that you never imagined possible.
Furthermore, every step of the way is illustrated with beautiful photographs of our two models enjoying intercourse. (These two people actually used the techniques described here to learn how to last longer during sex.)
And of course the great beauty of this technique is that it's all completely natural: it trains your body to manifest what are actually innate abilities, ones you lost as you became sensitized to the negative aspects of sex rather than to the joy and intimacy that it can offer.
Psychotherapy As Treatment For PE
Psychotherapy as a technique for dealing with PE is best reserved for men and couples where the origin of the premature ejaculation is clearly psychological and there are considerable psychosocial problems to deal with.
For example, this would include men who had considerable performance anxiety or couples where the partner had sexual problems of their own such as anorgasmia that were perhaps secondary to the man's tendency to rapid climax.
Other situations where psychotherapy is clearly called for include those where the relationship between a man and woman obviously encompasses emotional issues that need to be dealt with.
And when a couple simply don't know much about sex, it can really be helpful.
One example of this would be where a woman believes that she could reach orgasm during intercourse if her partner could continue making love for, say, 20 minutes before climaxing.
This is unrealistic, so offering factual information about how many women manage to reach orgasm during intercourse can be very helpful as a "reality check".
Furthermore, psychotherapy is good for men in bed when they are not in a relationship because it deals with a man's reluctance to go out and meet women for fear of the potential shame and embarrassment that will follow if sex is over in moments, when he ejaculates too quickly.
Other situations? Yes, many.
Where a man is already in a relationship, psychotherapy is highly recommended if the man seems to have emotional issues which need to be dealt with - such as fear of sex, fear of women, or vaginal aversion.
And it's a good idea to bring the partner into therapy at some point, especially when behavioral training exercises are used, because they will require the assistance of the man's partner. The longest time in the therapist's office may well be explaining the procedure!
And therapy for both the man and his partner is great where both partners are highly motivated to resolve the problem.
Here, psychotherapy can be especially useful. Whatever caused the rapidity, therapy will dig it out, and show up how PE affects a couple. Also, any emotional issues that may be getting in the way of a good sexual relationship can be dealt with.
Do Drugs Help Men In Lengthening Intercourse?
By contrast, pharmacotherapy is recommended when a man has had severe primary premature ejaculation for his entire life and is both sexually experienced and in a satisfying relationship.
However pharmacotherapy alone is not a cure for PE because as soon as a man stops taking Dapoxetine his tendency to reach climax too soon will rapidly return ..... this means that a lifelong regime of drugs would be needed unless he also receives instruction in ejaculatory control techniques.
Maybe a combination of pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy is the ideal treatment for premature ejaculation, in that it combines the best of both worlds.
The pharmacotherapy rapidly gives him a sense of control and sexual self-confidence.
The behavioral therapy and psychotherapy helps men in bed increase the length of sex. It also gives a couple techniques to make sex last longer, and allows the couple to maximize the benefits of the drug therapy.
Really, any therapy for early ejaculation is about teaching the man to attend to his sensations rather than "fearing" his sexual arousal; learning to pace his arousal; and expanding his sexual repertoire without becoming so aroused that he's ejaculating in no time at all.
If therapy is effective the drugs may eventually be phased out, and he may be able to rely on his new-found self control alone. This always gives a powerful boost a man's sexual self-esteem.
If you're considering therapy then you need to find a competent therapist who is qualified in sexual issues, which you can do at the website of the American Association of Sex Counselors, Educators and Therapists.
Menu for you men who can't control it!