that includes YOU. After all, you're here, reading a website on how to
prevent rapid orgasm and ejaculation.
But the fantastic news is
that even if you ejaculate more quickly than you want right now, there is
a guaranteed solution.
Do you like the idea of
being able to actually choose when you ejaculate during lovemaking
and feel like a real man in bed?
Can you imagine how your
partner would look at you adoringly if you
were able to give her long lasting sex with complete ejaculatory control?
And can you imagine how
powerful and masculine you'd feel after lengthy sex during which your partner had an orgasm
before you enjoyed your own orgasm and ejaculation?
And what if sex was like
this every time you made love?
Why Does the Length Of
Women really admire men
who can control their ejaculation - and when you can do this, sex becomes
a passionate, enjoyable, relaxed experience, free of anxiety.
Indeed, you'll find women
feel much more attracted to you; they'll actually feel sexier and want to
make love much more often.
And you know what?
Overcoming premature ejaculation is easy. With the help of some simple,
powerful, and little-known techniques you can have total control of your
ejaculation within weeks, if not days (read about
these techniques here).
Men who can stop their
premature ejaculation, men who can choose when to ejaculate, men with good
sexual skills, all feel great about themselves in and out of the bedroom,
because they are sexually self-confident and feel masculine.
That has massive effects
on your relationship. Because, as you know, what women really want is a
powerful, masculine man in bed (and in your relationship).
So, if you're feeling
things could be improved in bed, or if you
have no self-control during sex, it's definitely time to do something
So what's the real truth about PE?
How easy is it to stop rapid ejaculation?
Can you really find out how to
prevent it? What are the facts behind the myths - and do men really need
to feel so bad about something which is so common?
To prevent you being taken in by some of the con
men out there, peddling so-called cures for premature ejaculation, I'm
going to answer these questions, using my knowledge and experience gained
from 12 years' work as a sex therapist, helping men with all kinds of
What is premature ejaculation, exactly - and how can
it be prevented?
How many men experience premature ejaculation?
And just what is the normal length of intercourse, anyway?
makes a man ejaculate prematurely during lovemaking?
What can the average man do
to stop this happening and manifest a better sexual experience and so last longer in bed, really?
This is what using the Law Of
Attracting Reality is all about!
Check out this revealing audio interview with Lloyd Lester,
sex therapist, men's counselor and sex guru. In this juicy
interview, Lloyd tells you how and why millions of men experience
premature ejaculation - and how you
really can cure it!
(You'll be astounded by the myths
and lies that Lloyd blows out of the water when he talks about how
to last longer in bed.)
Fatness, Obesity and Premature Ejaculation
Like it or not men, there's an unpleasant
fact of life that you have to face up to: if you're obese, you're likely
to not only develop heart problems, diabetes and other serious health
issues, you're also likely to have difficulty during sex. You see, large
amounts of fat causes both premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
Or, to be more accurate, increased amounts
of fat accumulation causes a higher probability of premature ejaculation
and erectile dysfunction.
In turn, the shame and humiliation which can
result from these conditions tend to reduce sexual desire – not to mention
the fact that accumulation of fat is also anti androgenic in men.
here's an interesting study that suggests men with a higher body mass
index actually last five minutes longer during intercourse than men who
are not obese!
The bigger the belly the better the lover. Where does the truth lie?
According to the NHS website from Britain, obesity can cause
rapid orgasm. The truth of matter seems to lie somewhere here: when you
feel shame or humiliation about your body size, you're more likely to
ejaculate quickly because of emotional issues.
But if you have a great
deal of fatty tissue around your midriff, your androgen levels go down and
your estrogen levels go up (roughly speaking), so that your sexual desire
is lower, and your ejaculation takes longer.
Unfortunately there is
no suggestion that these two factors can cancel each other out! What we do
know, however, is that obesity is clearly bad for your sex life. For this
reason, it's highly recommended that if you are obese or even just
overweight, you find a
diet that can help you lose weight, and take steps to regain fitness.
Longer And Longer Sex Makes Things Better In Bed For
Over the years many attempts have been made
to define premature ejaculation (also known as rapid or early ejaculation, and
often abbreviated to "PE"). And no wonder, because to be honest,
it does matter to women how long a man can last in bed. At least, it
matters to some women, and if you are with one of them, then your
relationship is going to suffer in some way.... it may not break up, but
relationship will not be as loving as it might be. And who wants that,
when you can do something about it?
One of the difficulties in defining PE is because
deciding what constitutes "normal" sexual
activity is so variable between couples. If we knew how long sex lasted on
average, if we knew what was the average length of normal sexual
intercourse for men and women, it would be easier to simply state, for
example, a man who came within five minutes of penetration was ejaculating
But..... it's not so simple. The first problem is that
we just don't know the average duration of sexual
intercourse, although some research has have suggested it's between four and seven minutes from the moment of penetration to the
moment of ejaculation (this period is the intravaginal ejaculatory latency
time, also known as the latency time, or IELT for short).
The second problem is that many couples
would find five minutes of intercourse perfectly satisfying, provided
there was enough foreplay.
And what if PE causes dissatisfaction or a lack of
sexual fulfillment due to intercourse not lasting long enough? Should we
define it by the IELT? In reality, therapists, clinicians and scientists
alike have taken both approaches, and neither is completely adequate.
From a pragmatic point of view, most therapists who
ejaculation treatment would certainly wish to include some reference to the sexual
satisfaction and fulfillment of the partners.
This approach avoids the need to try and specify the exact length of time
that sexual intercourse "should" last. (Thank heavens!)
On balance it is probably the best approach,
because the length of intercourse certainly is very variable and depends
on many factors which are completely unique and known only to the couple
So you'll see at once this means that two
minutes of sex could be very satisfying for one couple while completely
inadequate for another.
Even so, if both partners are satisfied with
this level of sexual "staying power", and the woman has no longing for
longer in bed, so to speak, is this a case of premature ejaculation, and
is there any need for the man to control his ejaculation?
Having said all that, a man who ejaculates
before or just after penetration every time he has sex has premature or rapid ejaculation
because of his early climax. And
this is a problem which needs treating, since there is likely to be little or no
sexual satisfaction or pleasure during intercourse for the woman, and
maybe the man, too.
To clarify this further, a man may be able to
the IELT for eight minutes during sexual intercourse, but if he and
his partner are fully satisfied with this then that hardly constitutes a
lack of ejaculatory control.
Another man might be able to delay
ejaculation for, let's say, 15 minutes but still be dissatisfied with his
performance if his partner prefers intercourse to last longer. This might
be the case if, for example, she was able to reach orgasm after 30 minutes
of vaginal intercourse.
One of the advantages claimed for men with
delayed ejaculation is that they can bring their partners to orgasm due to
prolonged thrusting - a tenuous advantage at best! Read more about delayed
On balance therefore, the most practical, albeit
lengthy, definition of rapid ejaculation is this: when the man
before he and his partner have achieved full sexual satisfaction
- even though this may have a different meaning for different couples),
or in less than
four minutes on more than 50% of the occasions on which he and his partner
have sexual intercourse.
And despite the precision implied by that definition, it's worth remembering
this: first of all, few women reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse, so
any definition which implicitly or explicitly defines "satisfaction" for
the woman as "reaching orgasm through intercourse" is inherently flawed.
Second, if the couple are satisfied with their sex life
and not experiencing stress or distress because the man does not know how
to control premature ejaculation, then he is not really experiencing
Third, treatment will probably only be necessary when
either a man or his partner, or both, are dissatisfied with his
performance in bed and wish to extend the length of time between
penetration and ejaculation.
The DSM IV Diagnostic and Statistical Manual lists
the criteria for defining premature ejaculation as follows: (1) persistent
and recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, on, or
shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it; (2) marked
distress or interpersonal difficulty; and (3) it is not exclusively due to
Another factor which makes it extremely difficult to define what is normal
or average in matters of the bedroom is that
what is considered a normal duration between
penetration and a man's climax varies dramatically from country to
not to mention between couples.
We can say with some
certainty, however, that between 30 and 50% of the male population in all societies
want to last longer on the chaise longue than they are currently able to.
This makes inability to delay ejaculation
the most common sexual complaint among men worldwide. What you hear about
the Law Of Attraction and sex on the casting couch may not be true!
One of the more useful categorization of
premature ejaculation is the division into Primary PE and Secondary PE.
Primary PE refers to rapid ejaculation in men who have come quickly since
the first time they bedded a woman.
Secondary PE refers to rapid ejaculation
which began later in life after a man has previously been bedding women
successfully, without coming too soon, and then develops a problem around
the duration of intercourse.
Cultural differences exist between the
sheets, too: for example, in Germany the average period between
penetration and climax among men is only seven minutes, but men in the
United States claim it's thirteen minutes.
And although measuring your length, as the
cliché has it, may have different connotations in the two countries, what
probably exists here is really a cultural pressure in the USA for men to
perform sexually to a certain standard. (But do see the note on
Generally women estimate the length of time for which
their men are able to delay ejaculation fairly accurately,
although they consistently estimate the length of sex slightly lower than
their male partners -- which may be an indication of some level of
dissatisfaction with the time for which intercourse continues.
Estimates suggest that lack of control
affects between 30% and 50% of the male population: this means the number
of men who ejaculate before they or their partners wish them to do so.
Some evidence in the United States suggests
that up to 70% of men can be could be classified as having PE, although
far fewer men actually seek treatment for the condition: some probably
don't even perceive it as a problem, even if their partners do.
The Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors
(GSSAB), collected data
from more than 27,000 men and women aged between 40 and 80 years; men and
women were represented in roughly
equal proportions, and the data was obtained using face-to-face
interviews, telephone interviews, and mailed questionnaires.
Once again this data indicated a prevalence
of PE of around 30%, except, interestingly enough, in the Middle East,
where the frequency was reported as 12%.
The survey undoubtedly reflects cultural
differences since it's been suggested that men in this region regard early
ejaculation as a sign of potency and virility. Continuance of intercourse
clearly means little here...
We should also bear in mind that one of the possibilities which may affect
regional differences in the longer period of sex is how many men are
Circumcision is associated with keratinization - particularly after a long
period of time - and desensitization of the glans penis, which may reduce
penile sensitivity and increase the latency time during intercourse.
It's also possible that attitudes to sex in Protestant
and Catholic countries have some influence on perception and reporting of
PE. Muslim societies may have a view of sexuality which denigrates the
sexual needs of women, and inclines men to regard rapid ejaculation as a
desirable masculine trait.
The GSSAB also revealed that PE continuance is consistent between the
ages of 18 and 59 years, which might imply that older men should find ways
of teaching younger men how to lengthen sex, and pleasure women
successfully. Fat chance.
Good premature ejaculation treatment is actually quite
important for young men, who are in a period of life where they are
learning about sexual behaviors and sexual skills, and their relationship
skills are still developing.
In summary therefore, we can say that establishing the true frequency of
lack of control is difficult, which is hardly surprising since we
don't really have a clear and uniformly accepted definition of "normal"
let alone "premature" latency times.
But even in the absence of a clear
definition of PE, and also without validated and accurate studies to
support these conclusions, it's obvious that male inability to overcome
premature ejaculation is widespread and affects many couples globally. In
summary, about 30% to 50% come too soon for their liking, and the
"normal" - i.e. acceptable - IELT appears to be between four and seven